Random Thoughts of the Week #2: Smells Like Teen Spirit

Hey everyone! We're back with our second weekly random thought. Sorry for the delay. Anyways, have a happy weekend everyone! :)

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Rhio

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts...

These lines from William Shakespeare always tug my heartstrings. It makes me remember the times when I have to grow up too fast while others are in bliss and being pampered by their easy-going lives. Growing up from a somehow an unconventional setting, I learned to be resilient and persevere in tough times. And somehow found that despite the tough times I've been through at such a young age, I learned to be versatile and roll with the punches as I go along.

I somehow thank God that at a certain point when he gave me enough time to make up to those times that I felt was rob off from me. As what Yang and I would always tell each other, even if we didn't grew up normally like the other kids 'we wouldn't want it in any other way' because the lessons we learned and the way we perceive life and handle situations are just some of the best outcomes that we have during those times.

There are moments though when I try to have an introspection of who I was and who I am now and who I wanted and needed to be. Sometimes, I can't help at how far everything happened - all those changes, events and things in between. I admit there are still remnants of the me then that even if I don't want anymore, I just have to accept that it's part of the me now. It made me up the whole of me but it's also just a part of the sum. 

I don't know how exactly to conclude this whole thing but let me just say that with all these right now, all I can say is that and as what I always tell to myself: I am a work in progress. Learning and figuring things out as I go along.

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Jhun

Some people believe that people change, while others claim, they never would. Well for me, I think it works both ways. I may have changed some of my attitude and outlooks in life each year yet the core of me still remains the same. Seriously, I'm still not much comfortable chatting and making small talk with people. God, I can still remember the time when my heart rate goes up, making me feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack, every time the phone rings. But somehow, this previous year, I kind of gotten the hang of it. Now I believe that there's truth in the "Fake it till you make it" attitude. You can pretend to be brave even if deep inside your shaking and somehow, that's how the people around will perceive you. Then later on you'll realize that really, there's nothing to be scared about. Yet, I'm still not over my fear with new people. We can safely say that until now, I'm still quite faking it. :P

I remember last weekend, me and Rhio spent the day babysitting my sister and niece while they took a dip in the pool, and we just chatted about random stuff (which truthfully, all we ever do lately. Seriously, until now we wonder how we never run out of things to talk about.:P) Anyway, we talked about alot of changes that happened to us within a year and weirdly enough, the people that we were still remains the same. Before, we were this pair of silly girls making silly videos and writing about silly stuff and now, here we are, still the same pair of silly girls with silly dreams, but somehow taking their responsibilities more seriously. It's like we're still dreaming about these silly dreams but then, the decisions we make in achieving them has gotten more practical. Don't get me wrong though, we still love doing these silly things that we usually do, but we try to balance them now with our responsibilities.

Whenever I try to picture the people I've been before, I find myself quite amused and a bit sentimental. I see this little girl in her floral dress, somberly sitting on her chair while the other kids where running and playing around. Then there's this tomboyish high school kid who opted to join the CAT (it's like a basic military thingy for highschoolers) rather than learning how to put on make-up which most of the girls her age did. And there goes this angsty, rebellious, eye-liner wearing punk kid in college who managed to retain the air of responsibility while at home. The one who ditched her classes every time the professor pisses her off yet somehow managed to get good grades in spite of it. Now, I see myself a combination of all these people. Like a rebel kid lurking behind the starched uniform of a responsible adult, just waiting for the right moment to step out and wreck havoc. The part goody two shoes and part punk kid who spontaneously does something outrageous just to break the monotony of her life.

With all of these changes I've been through, it makes me feel like a driver with no road maps. I don't know where I'm headed or what's waiting for me around the corner. I don't know if I should cross the road or if I should take the turn. I don't know who I'll become tomorrow, or the next year, or the year after that. All I know is that I will keep my foot on the gas pedal and will probably raise my hands to let go of the steering wheel from time to time just to tempt fate to take me wherever it will dare me to. As my favorite line from the movie Meet the Robinsons says: "Keep moving forward."

***While writing this one, I remembered an article of Patti Smith when she interviewed Johnny Depp and she asked him what happened to the characters he played once he's done doing the film and he said:

"They're all still there, which on some level can't be the healthiest thing in the world. But, no, they're all still there. I always picture it as this chest of drawers in your body - Ed Wood is in one, the Hatter is in another, Scissorhands is in another...The weirdest thing is that I can access them. They're still very close to the surface." 

The Truth About Forever

Hey everyone! 

Happy New Moon Day!

To celebrate this New Moon Day, Yang and I decided to write our own concept on forever. We may be both hopeless romantics but we're different when comes to forever...

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Jhun

The truth about forever? I'm quite sure no one really knows what forever really is. When will it really end? I remember a few years ago, probably around four or five years ago, I wrote a post regarding "Promise and Forever". basically, it's about how people who fell in love tend to make promises that they'd love each other till the end of time, although only a few of them were really able to keep that promise.

You might find it a bit ironic that for someone who constantly writes about love and other emotional stuff, I still feel cynical about the concept of forever. I remember when I wrote before that I'd rather have someone tell me that they love today than telling me that they will love me forever and ever. Why? Well for starters, I believe that when some people make this promise, they tend to get overly confident that the person they made that promise to will believe it and hold on to it. That even if that person (the one who made the promise) sometimes act like a jerk or a bitch towards the other person (the one whom the promise was made to) that person should just sit still and wait just because of that f***in promise of forever. The thing is, they tend to take that promise as an assurance that no matter what they do or don't do, the other one should just take that promise by faith. Sometimes they tend to think that "I already made that promise so I can act brashly today because I got a whole lifetime to make up for it." and later on all their petty fights will pile up and will end up hating the sight of each other because both were expecting that each will meet their end of the bargain but weren't able to.

Don't get me wrong though, I still believe in love. But not the forever kind. I'd rather have the everyday kind. The one where you can truthfully say to the other person that "Hey, I love you today but later this day I might be an ass and you'd hate my guts but I'd make it up to you later. I'd even love you more with everything I could. That I can promise. ;)" 

So there. I'm in a bit of a time crunch right now so I'd probably just get back to this topic some other time.

Happy New Moon everyone! ;)

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Rhio

Ever After. This is what I like to call my forever.

Growing in Love. This is what I like my ever after to happen.

It's a love story. And this is where it starts. At the beginning. I don't want to us be just any other story that went to waste. I want us to be the story that lives in the hearts and minds of our grand-kids as we tell them when we are old, wrinkly and gray that true love exists. That true and real love happens. And that we are living proof of that.

At the beginning. It will happen when all the forces of the Universe along with fate and destiny and the meticulous hands of the Author of the Universe will let us meet right where we least expect it. Surreal but nice.

We know that we came from different backgrounds. We were built differently. We have different foundations. We have characteristics, quirks, odds, strengths, weaknesses and other stuff that makes us who we are. And we know that we may change or we may not, but, surely we know that we are works in progress and that there's more.

As we knew of this, we will keep our minds open but our hearts closer till they intertwine. We know how the future is so uncertain. Too many odds and risks, too many options, too many choices, sometimes too little chances, the plots sometimes becomes way too twisted, circumstances becomes too unbearable and sometimes things doesn't make sense or everything is just so incomprehensible. We know these as facts of life. But, for the first time in a very long time, after taking care of ourselves and know that we can do this alone and that we are somehow complete and whole in our terms - just looking at each other's eyes, we knew that things will be different from now on. We can finally say to ourselves that 'This is it!' That, finally, we will, together, traverse this journey called life with what we have but much more better because we have each other. 

We will take baby steps. Slowly but surely. Deliberately and conscientiously. This is how we will grow in love. We will share the ups and downs, the joys and the pains, the laughter and the tears. We will be each other's strength and comfort. We will go through the seemingly mundane to the boring ones to the extraordinary and special days. Each day will be different. We will sometimes have shared silences and that's okay, we need that, too. We will be equals because we learn that we are a team, a partnership. We are each other's life partner. And finally, I can have my own man best friend. Yes, we will be each other's best friends and lovers at the same time.

There will be days when we have to face battles of our own. But, we knew that we have each other's loyalty and that this might just be the first step to conquering the battles each of us is facing. But, we can do this. We will make it. For we know that there's no battle that we can't handle. We may sometimes not have all the answers, but just being there with each other is sometimes more than enough. We will guide each other. And should the time come when we feel like losing, we will not forget to hold on to each other. And I assure you, even if I'm not as muscular as any superhero, count me in to persevere and endure the toughest of times with you. 

We will sometimes laugh when everything is just so incomprehensible because we don't want to be too wrinkly at such young age and we know that life doesn't have to be taken too seriously sometimes.

Our smiles will meet the crinkles of our eyes. Knowing by heart that what we have is genuine and forged by time and the things we've been through together. We give each other the time and space that is needed in order for us to grow into the persons that we needed and wanted to be. We will be thoughtful, kind and respectful with each other.

Somehow, along the way, we may make mistakes and totally pissed off at each other or be way too annoyed. We may handle things differently but we knew that at the end of the day, when the wrath of our tempers cool down, we will communicate and not sleep until we knew that we are sorry and have forgiven each other and that the problem was resolved. 

We will be comfortable together in the couch or in bed for afternoon naps and maybe some bit of cuddling. But as much that we love indoors, we will travel together too. We both know that we both yearn for that next great adventure. When we travel, we will both get to know each other more especially on how we will deal with different situations that will come our way. We will do our best to be healthy by doing some long walks or three minute runs or whatever we want to do as exercise. We will have our very own bucket list and together do each one in it and add some more.

We will never get tired of knowing each other every day of our lives because we both know that a lifetime is never enough of growing in love with each other and because we will both learn and realize life lessons and share them with each other. We will do our best to keep the sparkle and fire burning with what we can and with the best that we do.

We will introduce each other to different music and movie genre and different kinds of books. We may or may not like it but we won't force to each other. This will be just one of our ways of getting to know more of each other and what will make us different from each other that may keep the spice up still.

There will be days when we will have our topak ways but we will learn to not have topak when the other one has. We will be patient with each other but firm and gentle when telling each other that someone got pissed off or really annoyed. We will love each other even if on most days we may be hating each other. We will do our best to love each other with the best that we could and with all that we've got.

We will surprise each other from the smallest of things to the grandest of gestures. Because we both know that it's always the littlest things that matter and that the big bold moves are just the special ones. We will be the cheesy and romantics that we always are - especially when we are all alone with each other. *wink* 

We both know that despite the years we first started together, we still have a lot of things to figure out and learn as we go along. And this is what we will have in our minds as we both traverse this journey called life and that together, we will figure out things and we will learn them as we go along. 

Oh yes. I'll definitely say yes when you asked me to marry you. I'll walk down the aisle knowing that you'll be there to take my hand. I'll let you take my hand. I'll look at your eyes and will know. I'll just know that finally, you are the answer to my prayers. You are totally and absolutely amazing and worth keeping for. We are worth it. And we just opened another chapter in our lives. 

We will have five kids. Or maybe less or more than that because we will have one set of twins. We will raise them with unconditional love and support them in their every endeavor. We will guide them and discipline them if needed to. But we won't spoil them much nor control them altogether. We will let them grow into their very own persons. 

Should there come a time when we really get both busy and it may seem that we don't have time, we will make or create time for us to be together sans the kids and create time with the kids and to always have a bonding session with them.

We may go to bed really tired from a hard day at work. But we can alleviate it with some good massage and chat over coffee or tea till we are both sleepy and doze-off. 

We both know that even if we are in our 40s or 50s, life may throw at us some life-choking lemons that may shaken us and somewhere we might have midlife crisis of some sort, but know this. We will remember to always communicate with each other, openly and in a no-holds barred kind of way, to tell what we exactly feel, think and want to do. We will be both understanding and kind and thoughtful. And always have respect with each other. We will help each other. After all, aren't we best friends and lovers at the same time?

And we both know that we may have gained wisdom already but still there are a lot of things to learn and still have things to figure out. We may need to make up for some things but we will do it all with the thought that we need to balance it out with realities and ideals as we work things together.

Until one day, we will both retire and have empty nest. We will go back to just being together again. This time, old, wrinkly and gray. But we will never lose our sense of adventure and our being kids at heart. We will dance to our very own rhythm and pace. There's no need to rush. We will savor every minute that we have with each other even if that means afternoon coffee or tea in the porch of our home and mostly in silence and holding hands together. 

There might come a day that I may forget things more often than I used to but I know that in my heart, that just the sound of your voice or the slightest of your touch, I'll know that you are with me. That you are still the man I fell in love with years ago and the man I married and the man I still and always love each day of my life. The man I grow in love with until now.

This is how we will grow in love. I may not have written every slight detail in it but you get the picture. We can fill the gaps and get to roll with punches. We will be the living proof that true and real love exists despite how cynical and paradoxical the world is.

We are the living love story. Growing in love. Ever after. 

:) ☀ ♥

The Maid of Honor Speech

Hey there everyone! Happy Easter! And Happy Full Moon Day! :) Pardon us if we haven't post anything much yet in here. Let us make up for it with this speeches we made for each other. Oh and this is just a snippet of what we'll actually say to each other when the time comes. ;)

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Jhun a.k.a. Yang's Maid of Honor Speech :)

Hi there everyone. Truthfully, I don't have any idea how to make speeches, more importantly, a wedding speech. So I hope I wouldn't say anything inappropriate here.;)

Anyway, to start off, let me congratulate first the newly weds who, after years and years of searching and plotting on maps, finally found each other. Kudos to you guys. 

So first off - to the groom. Congratulations and I wish you all the luck and the patience in the world. I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into because when she became my friend, I didn't have a choice. So from here onward, she's basically your responsibility. She may be quite a handful (oh don't I just know it), but I'm pretty sure you're up to it. Trust me when I say that she can make you crazy at times - well, make that most of the time - but trust me also when I say that it'll all be worth it. She may seem like a fragile little thing that always needs to be protected but truth be told, you can trust her with your life because she'll do her best to protect it even if she has to sacrifice hers along the way. Don't be afraid of sharing with her your burdens because with a heart as big as hers, she can handle it. Whenever you face trials as husband and wife, there's no need for you to shelter her behind your back. Just hold her hand and keep her beside you and she will bravely face them with you. So just a simple reminder: Don't expect her to be the nagger-kind-of-wife. I assure you, she won't ask for much. She won't need for you to be anything, to be the courageous Superman or the filthy rich intellectual Batman or even the quite temperamental Hulk. All she'll ever need from you is for you to be you. A couple of surprises here and there wouldn't hurt though, like a trip across Europe or even a Caribbean cruise would probably suffice. Just kidding. A bit. But basically yeah, just be yourself. Always remember that it's you whom she fell in love with and not the material stuff that you could give her. Trust me on this. On Girl Scouts' honor. :)

To the bride. To the sister of my heart. :)  What more can I say? After all the silly phases we've been through, you finally found the one who'll never let go of your hand no matter how many times you trip over your own feet. You don't know how relieved I am for finally, I can wash my hands of you.:P Kidding aside, this is just the beginning though. More is yet to come, but I know that you can make it through no matter what. Especially now that you have someone you can wholly share yourself with. I can easily see you bravely shouting out to the void "Bring it on!" while you are holding on to him. And it makes me glad. Don't batter yourself too much though about the things you don't know about yet. You'll learn them along the way. But the most important part is that you learn them together. Don't rush yourself into things. You'll get there in time. Enjoy each step you take with each other because you can never take the same step twice. Cherish it. Live it. Savor it. Because once you get yourselves a bunch of runts along the way, you'll need something to remind you why the hell you wanted this anyway. Just kidding. Again. Sorry for that.:P But there's some truth in it, ayt? Always remind yourselves that the reason you are where you are right now, and that is beside each other, is because you wanted to, because you love each other. Not because you had to, just for the sake of staying together. From now on, you should stop thinking as two separate people with different paths because now, you are a single unit. You are "husband and wife", not "a husband" and "a wife". Someday soon, this "husband and wife" unit will turn into a "mother and father" unit. And I'm sure, you will do just fine. In fact, you will be more than just fine. You will be wickedly awesome.

So cheers to the newly weds.

And to the first runt that will come along the way. Probably in about 9 months time, maybe? ;)

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Rhio a.k.a. Grey's Speech :)

Hello there everyone! 

I don't know exactly how to begin this speech of mine. But all I could think of was to say this...

Finally! Thank heavens! That this day had finally came true! So surreal to be here with all of you right now - to witness the love and commitment that these two made.

So, for you the groom. Well of course, (you have an idea) but you just don't know how exactly lucky and blessed you are to have my dearest Yang as your partner in life. She may have her crazy antics and may zone-out from time to time into her rabbit hole, but tell you what and know this - you can always count on her to be with you every step of the way, literally and figuratively, in this new chapter of your lives together. And can I just say, thank you so much, for being the man that she always needed and wanted to be. Thank you for loving her and accepting her just the way she is. But always know that, there's more to her because as you traverse this journey of being a married couple, remember that she'll still blossom into someone as so much more and it will always be worth it. I know that there are times (well, a lot of times, kidding!) that she may be stubborn, but you know what, at the end of the day just give her a good and warm tight bearhugs to remind her that she is not alone on this anymore. That she has you and that you can always make it through whatever weather because you both have each other. Oh and please, it's always the little things that count and don't ever forget the surprises. Please take good care of her (even if I know that she doesn't need that all the time) but please do. 

And of course, to you my dearest Yang, the most blooming and beautiful bride with a Cheshire cat smile that won't seem to erase on her face.. can I just say that this is one of the miracles I've witnessed in my entire life. From the moment you said 'yes', to walking down the aisle, saying 'I do' and your vows and committing yourself to this man, well, what can I say? Isn't this the most courageous and bravest thing you've ever done? And the most worth it thing that you done once and only once in your life? You know that I love you and that each day I thank God that you finally have your own fairy tale come true to life. I know, I can be a very clingy friend but somehow today, I'm assured that you are in very good hands (as I find my anxious beating heart found calmness). That you finally have the man who will always be there for you each day of your lives - someone strong and with conviction and always respects you. And someone whom you can be yourself with and share every joy and life's lemons. 

Enjoy this ride together with all those speed bumps and hustles that life has to give. Always remember the love you have for each other. Let it grow each day - deliberately and conscientiously. And know that you two is now one (two is better than one as what a song once said) and that you can face anything. For I know that, the Big Guy Up There, will always guide you both.

I love you guys!

Cheers!

p.s.

Can't wait for your mini-me's. Hahaha! :D