That Ruby Sparks moment. Damn. It's been a decade since we first watched "Ruby Sparks" and fell in love with it. Then, I asked Grey about her ideal guy and we ended up writing a post about it. It's been a decade and here we are, writing our "updated" versions (even though I've long decided that I'm not in the lookout for "him" anymore since I believe that he's too good to be true. hahaha!). Let's just say I'm writing this for nostalgia's sake. I'm so curious to read the one I wrote before after writing this. :)
*** Here's the link to our initial post.
Anyway, where do I start? Let's see...
First on my list would probably be, he should have a very high EQ. I will not accept any compromise with this one. I'm done rooting for "wounded/tortured guys" who needs coddling and such. I'm a Swiftie, but I 'm not the "I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)" type. No, siree. I'm more of the other Swiftie type, the "Renegade" one, the get-your-shit-together-so-I-can-love-you-type-of-girl. Thanks to my bestie, we got our shit together by being each other's therapists. I don't need any more trauma, thank you very much.
Next, he should be capable of making interesting conversations. Not the too serious or lecture type, but more of us geeking out on each of our own current interests or hobbies with no judgment. Hahaha! Someone I can be comfortable with to let my inner geek out. I can't stand someone who will try to "mansplain" everything to me.
Another trait is open-mindedness. We might have different interests but it doesn't mean we would judge each other for it. I wouldn't push my own opinions on him so he better not push his on me. We could talk about it, but it doesn't mean that we would try to manipulate the other into accepting that ours is the right one. I like learning from other people's point of views because I believe it helps us to be more empathetic.
Respectful. Another non-negotiable for me.
He would never make me choose between my family and him. I'd leave him in a heartbeat. Unless he has a valid reason - I doubt though that he would ever have one.
Now to the less serious stuff...
I guess since I'm a book nerd and a music geek, it wouldn't hurt if he has the same interests as well. It's definite plus points if he has a wide array of interests like me. Like he's not stuck on a single book/music genre and be judgmental to the others that's not part of it. My mind consistently jumps from one interest to another, I need him to be able to keep up with it. Hahaha!
He should also understand that I'm not the type who needs consistent updates on his whereabouts or what he's currently doing. Seriously. I can't handle the everyday good mornings or have you eaten messages. He tells me he's out with friends, I don't need the location or the time, just go. You're your own person. I think that's where others will find a problem in because some might feel neglected. But sorry, I guess that's not my problem. Don't expect me sending messages or calling everyday. It's really just not in my nature. I've been strong and independent for most of my life, and I hope he's the kind of guy who doesn't feel emasculated or offended just because I didn't ask for his help.
But...
It doesn't mean I'm not a sucker for random surprises or grand gestures. Hahaha! I believe when these things are done sparingly or randomly makes it even more special and memorable. Something to feed by ever hopeless romantic heart. A mixtape or playlist here. A new book there. Secretly fixing something that I wouldn't admit that I couldn't fix. A surprise concert ticket. What can I say? I'm just a simple girl with simple needs. ;)
So, that's me, shouting it out into the void - hoping that nobody hears it. Hahahaha!
- Jhun
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